Spoiders

Oi said oi would ave a go at spoiders as they is liddle beggers that folk ave certain feelings about.Flies most folk ain't bothered over unless they is crawlin over the rock buns or rubbin they liddle legs on the baby's rattle.
Spoiders now they as a reaction.... usually a scream or a asty shuffle towards a door. Out comes the broom or the cloth or someone braver to ustle the liddle beggar to greener pastures loike. Oi finds spoiders a great help. The farm was always crawlin with em and as the flies was all over the midden they spoiders kept me and the maids in good form. It was when they got into the ouse that Mother would take a dislike and oi would ear an oller to come and clear one out toot sweet. That there is French. Mother dragged me to Paris a while back and oi picked up a bit of the lingo loik you do.
 They as spoiders in France an all. Oi expect them ot countries has them as big as dinner plates.That moight give one a turn coming up agin that on the wall.
Oi did ear of one poor lass as went in for her morning shower and stepped on a tarantula that was avin a liddle look down the drain. She said she thought she had stepped on a banana as it squished loik.Least she thought it was a banana till she looked down. Spoiders in the bath is one thing.....
Oi had one furry beggar come out of a box of blueberries oi was havin a liddle nibble on. It were a black hairy beggar an jumpy too.It opped out of they box an at me quick as a wink.Oi thinks what the... an it hops on the floor.Furry as Ol Nick it were.Oi could ave eaten en if oi hadn't been payin mind to what oi were doin. Oi don't moind spoiders but oi draws the line at eaten they. Kinda gone off the blueberries for a bit.
Don't matter rasps are in and it's them beggarly wasps oi has to watch out for when oi am pickin they.Now a wasp oi has no use for, narsty they is an sting you as soon as look at you. They'll ave a go at each other if there ain't anything else around.Reminds of some folk oi know, no names moind...
Back again in a bit... cheerio for now an mind ow ye go.