Pan Am Brings Back the Girdle

I watched a new show last night that takes place in 1963.I thought I could handle it as the fifties were fast disappearing and we all know how I felt about them! Well this show is incredibly dopey though the planes are cute.I will never watch it again. However it gave me food for thought as one scene had the Frau in charge of the stews slapping their bottoms to see if they were wearing their girdles. Not a one complained, though said Frau looked like Mrs. Twit with a persona to match and as we now know she had no business with her hands on anyone's bum but her own.
That the way it was then.
The minute a curve appeared on our very young bods it was slung into a girdle. Then one had suspenders on said girdle from which one hoisted and fastened stockings.It felt like being encased in cement and you could only walk in a sort of weird, knock- kneed, tittupy trot. It was to make you feminine. Being female was not enough it seemed. You had to be uncomfortable too. If one had to make a pit stop one had to bear in mind that it was no small deal wiggling out of a girdle.No wonder all of us older trouts are at the mercy of our bladders. It started with those damn girdles!
Here's the daffiest thing you'll ever hear re the wretched garment. When the fashion came, in 1961, for Bermuda shorts I got me a pair. They were turquoise.I loved them.There appeared one day on the end of my bed a thing that looked like a pair of Bermudas but was not. Yup that's right. It was a girdle to be worn under shorts just in case.In case of what? I was fourteen. What was being kept under wraps here for Heaven's sake?
Then there was the long line girdle. That bugger shoved the girls up right under your nose, wrapped around your midriff and almost stopped you breathing. Shallow breaths only ladies. So now we are encased top and bottom!
The end of it all came 7 years later when I was pregnant. I was wrapped from chest to thighs in a maternity corset which had a little pouch for the baby to grow into. It was supposed to support my 21 year old muscles which ungirdled might collapse on the floor.I wore it till the weather got hot then wrenched the sodding thing off and waited for my child to fall out. She stayed where she was until she was ready and so much for my flabby muscles.
If Pan Am takes off ( pun intended ) watch that blasted girdle reappear. Spanx is a walk in the park!

Goodbye Sunshine

First day of Fall peeps! It's dark and gloomy and going to rain. Of course! In anticipation of what is to come( more darkness and dampness) I am planting delphiniums today if I can. I am buying tulip bulbs, crocus, daffs and perhaps a few snowdrops for a sheltered spot. Thinking about them will shorten the winter months though I do like the weather until Christmas. January and February are for people who can still hurtle down a toboggan run and walk afterwards.
We all stay in and this includes the cat. If it weren't for the swimming three times a week we probably wouldn't go out at all. The cat has no worries about being in. She doesn't swim and exercise is not a thing she understands.
There is something about sunshine that draws you out of your home. The beach has been a big lure this summer. It's so close and so pretty and this time of year very quiet. We tell ourselves that we will walk there as often as the weather allows but we know we won't. The gray skies just aren't enticing.Walking on a beach with wind blowing your eyelashes inside out just seems wrong though plenty folk do it.
I feel gray skies are more condusive to staying in and baking cookies. Had we the wood stove I would be firing that up too and sitting beside it with a good book and Mozart doing his cheery bit on the radio. I know how to handle winter!But I am sad to see the sunshine go.

Hit The Panic Button!

I was woken this morning to the car alarm belonging to the Bondo Bucket that lives next door. The decrepit van is the Bondo Bucket, not the owner for you young'ns who have not heard the term. Bondo was what you used to keep your car together back in the day.
This alarm whoops and whistles and wails and parp parps enough to wake the dead! And me! I think my neighbour who is not the sharpest knife in the drawer gives it to his sister who is also not playing with a full deck, to amuse herself with. I know when the van arrived one Saturday we were treated to the panic button non stop. People were coming out of their houses and looking up and down the road.It was relentless. I guess something was said as we have only the odd interruption in our deadly quiet suburban lives but always early in the morning. Maximum effect one assumes.
I lay in bed thinking of the first time I used a panic button. It was by accident as I was opening the Rav's door. The hullabaloo was shattering.It startled me so much I jumped and dropped the keys. All the birds flew out of the trees!Now that was an alarm!
I used the button on the Smartie this spring as I had misplaced her in a parking garage. I got out of the elevator on what I hoped was the right floor. Pressed the button and far away was a plaintive peep peep peeeep. I cupped my ear and trailed along and there she was, the wee thing giving it her all, little lights flashing merrily. I was proud of her . She did the job and birdies stayed on their branches and no one jumped out of their shoes. This is how it should be done, people!