Foreign Parts

Yers, Oi'm back from moi travels abroad and right glad to be so may oi say. It were roight exhausting whot with all them buildings we 'ad to look in and that there food and all them foreigners.They were orl right for the most part, the foreigners oi mean but it were roight tiring 'avin to eat goodness knows what, day in day out.
We were on a tour loik, an we ad a tour guide whose name oi reckon was Along, oi believe, oi couldn't quite get the ang of it see.Well this ere Along took us everywhere in Paris. Mother was chuffed to bits.We 'et in roight posh restaurants an oi et summat called Soul Bong Fam which were roight tasty. It were a fish.
Along et with us to make sure we got summit we could eat.Oi have heard stories about what these chaps will put on their plates but most of it were roight good though oi could have murdered a decent cuppa tea.Coffee, coffee, coffee, day an noight. Oi'm all a jangle still.
We went up that there tower they are so proud of in Paris. Oi had to look at moi feet it were that hoigh. Moi head were swimming loik. Mother were hanging on to the edge for dear loife and oohin and aahin. Oi don't know where she gets the pluck.Oi had to have a loi down after to get moi wind back.We went to the Loover and looked at the pictures. Along talked a blue streak about it all but oi couldn't get the ang of most of it. A lot of they poor stone lasses 'ad lost their arms and other bits. It were a shame.Oi expect the Loover couldn't afford lasses with all their bits. Too dear.
We went to where the King lived in the summertime, the one that lost is 'ead in a manner of speaking. Hee Hee.It were roight posh. They 'ad cows there 'an all as the Queen, poor dear, loiked er cream fresh. Now there was a woman after me own 'eart. She went for the chop 'an all. These Frenchies are a dramatic lot!Imagine the old Queen Mum 'avin her 'ead chopped off. See what oi mean?Don't bear thinkin of.We love our Queen even if she do eat cake.
Well, we came back same way we left under the Channel in the train.They call it the Chunnel.The train is called the Eurostar. Oi had to take a pill oi am ashamed to say. The thought of all that water above moi head quite took the pluck roight out of me. Mother was chattering nineteen to the dozen with 'er new mates.She wasn't a bit put off boi any of it. She says she 'as Sang Frower. She speaks French now. Me oi am afraid am back 'ome and very 'appy to be so. Sang Frower be damned.

Friends

I dropped in on a former friend of mine last week. We used to live on the same street in Scarborough and I haven't seen her house in thirty years and her only twice since then. We drifted apart, like you do.
I pulled into her driveway and there she was raking her lawn looking just the same but with gray hair. It was as though I had been away for a day or two!She knew me right away and we got down to brass tacks and brought each other up to speed on just about everything. She standing there with her rake in her hand and me in the car.
We are doing lunch( she has always been a lady who lunches) tomorrow and will get down to even finer brass tacks. We were going into the City but she also has a meeting with her travelling companion as they are off to Australia in June. They have been around the world twice in the last few years. I feel a bit dull. Never mind she is a fine person and I am really happy to be able to talk to her again.More on this later, after the lunch.