Doris

I don't know why I woke thinking of my mother this morning. Probably because the cat is still missing and when she(the cat) was particularly peevish I would call her Doris. Mother Dearest is still with us though she has grown very thin and can do nothing for herself except take a swipe now and then at someone who is talking to her. Her favourite target is the kindly Ken who delivers Holy Communion at the weekly semi Mass in the nursing home. He has developed a way of extending the Host to Ma but standing well back in case he has to duck a sidewinder. She is good with the baby dolls that drift around the floor. She blows in their little rubber faces. O_o That and trying to disrobe no matter where or when are her limited occupations these days. She is belted into her wheel chair so the shedding of garments is reduced to ripping off her socks, patting them flat then trying to get them back on. She seems to enjoy this most during Mass. Sitting next to her can be a challenge as she likes to slap and pat anyone she can reach(while doing the sock thing too). Gifted considering her limitations! Oddly enough I have grown quite fond of this Doris. She has no idea who I am and I can sit beside her quite peacefully while she does her thing of the moment. There is no need to walk on eggshells making conversation and no chance of hearing yet again what a loser I am. Just mildly attentive in case I have to duck but that's a minor point.
We celebrated Mother's Day at a Healing Mass. We rode together on the big purple handicapped bus to the church where we did our best to keep the sock waving at bay. When the hymns began Ma revved up into what passes for loud conversation but no one minded as there were all sorts of stranger things going on that morning. The Parish brought out a lovely Italian hot lunch but Doris these days can only manage yoghurt and apple sauce though she did get a fizzy pop as a treat. It took me back to when I fed my babies. Almost as messy too.
I used to think if she were to wake up and know where she is and what she has become, she would kill herself, but now I am not so sure. She is surrounded by love and kindness and people who have really become her family. There are worse places to be.