Happy Hallowe'en

Here's a Hallowe'en joke for you. Two nuns are driving through Transylvania when a huge hairy vampire leaps in front of their car.
"Quick, "says the driver nun to the other. "Show him your cross!"
The passenger nun rolls down the window, leans out and yells:
"Sod off, you great hairy git!"

Have a hauntingly good evening.

Launched

I don't know why this popped into my head the other day but thinking about it made me laugh. It's a little story about my Dad that happened 47 years ago when he still had a sense of humour and he needed it, as you will see.
It was a hot summer afternoon and my parents had friends over. My Dad was sitting in his favourite rocking chair sharing his recent fun on a brand new Air Canada jet. It may have been TCA (Trans Canada Airways) still, for all I knew. Jets had just come into passenger service. My Dad had hoped to fly during the war but couldn't as he was colour blind. Instead he learned how to shoot them down but had never lost his keen interest in flight. Little did he know he would be making an unexpected one of his own. He was describing the jet take off as compared to a prop plane that sort of drags itself up. The jets took off much more dramatically and Dad was in full throttle, arms extended, taking off once more to share the thrill of it all with us, when he went a tad too far into that wild blue yonder and over he went backwards in the rocker with a mighty crash. All that could be seen were his little legs waving in the air with his little slippers flapping on the ends of them.
Pandemonium broke out as several men rushed to haul him upright. It took a Yorkshire friend to come up with the perfect bon mot.
"You're right Jim, it is quite the take off!" Everybody laughed, including my Dad, though my Mum was still fussing about broken bones. He was fine and continued to sit in his rocker but his stories weren't quite so dramatic and he didn't rock.

Dies Irae

Today has been a day worth forgetting as everything that could possibly go wrong did. To crown it all we now, in the late afternoon have snow which is staying!!! October 21st and there is snow on the ground! I know I am taking this personally and of course it has nothing really to do with me but everything and I mean everything that I have done today has gone awry. Not huge things to be sure but all those small things do start to add up, until you begin to wonder what the message is, or even is there a message and am I perhaps some sort of blithering idiot to assume that my life is generally calm and really it is just contained chaos and today I woke out of my coma and saw it for what it is. Frustrating!!!!(... and full of run on sentences.) I was hoping that by writing it down I would release the accumulated energy and feel better but no. Thich Nat Hanh is right . The more energy you feed anger the angrier you feel.
Right, I will switch gears. At this moment the computer is working fine... toi toi toi...We have heat in the house, and the grub in the oven is beginning to smell sentimental. The snow is quite pretty if it can be seen from a warm dry spot. The cat is sitting beside me and purring. I have time to write this uninterrupted and there is always the hope of a better day tomorrow. To those of you who feel the gag reflex coming on I apologize but old Thich is right. I do feel a little better and I don't care what anyone says. It is all about me so there!

Jam

I have been making jam all summer long. It started with a box of red currants I bought on impulse and had no idea of what to do with. Next was a few boxes of blueberries that called my name one Saturday at the farmer's market. Then we were dragging home peaches by the gross and oh yes those gooseberries that were keen to spend time in a jar and on it went. As we speak I have strawberries on the stove bubbling away. Late in the season for them but the local fruit was mouldy this year and I have fear of hives so strawberries fell by the way until I saw some beauts all the way from California and organic to boot. Yes, I tried the 100 mile thingy last year and the food got very dreary very quickly so we are back to our old wasteful but delicious habits. Ah yes, there are also two jars of fig and plum jam and of course plain old plum. Enough I hope to get us through the winter with a little bottled sunshine!
This all came about after I watched the French cooking show where she made a very old fashioned apricot jam. It looked wonderful and the ingredients were so simple, as was the method. I had to have a go. My pantry is looking very Mennonitey! There were all those green tomatoes this year as well and they are all sitting happily with their pepper and onion companions in the pantry too. The eating doesn't interest me half as much as the making but that's o.k. as there is The Better Half who puts his heart and soul into the eating. Something for everyone!

What's in a Name?

I was rereading a favourite author of mine last week and found a bit that I had passed over for other funny stuff. This has been a delight for days now. I may never get over the sheer insultibility of it and its delightful picturesqueness. It is one politician going on about another in the Australian Parliament. One MP calls the PM a "useless nong!" I was in kinks. What a word. Think of all the people in our lives over the years that fill that bill. Sheer heaven.
Another epithet rose closer to home in a Globe and Mail article where a reporter was giving out about our PM. The phrase he used was "... the relentless dorkiness of the man." That was another huge delight. The inventiveness of the English language is wonderful especially when applied to politicians. Of course it can also be applied to whomever you wish and with great joy. There are plenty of useless nongs out and about. And dorks. I too have had my moments of dorkiness and nongness but fortunately I am not in the public eye. There, but for the grace of God ... though some of you may have your own opinions on that.