Farmer Giles

On my way home from a working visit with the family my Dear One said that a younger family member had asked him what a Farmer Giles accent was. Dear One was a bit confounded and might have been able to come up with a Bauer Hansl accent but Farmer Giles was beyond him. So for the enquiring mind here is Farmer Giles:
"Oim Faamer Goiles an oi com fraam the West Country, you know, Devon, Caarnwall, Zomerzet an such loike.
Oi has cows. Oi loves cows. Lovely beasts they be. Oi has Bessie an Daisy an Buttercup an lil Fruitcake an oi loves em all! Grand milkers the lot o they. Cept lil fruitcake an he's off to the knackers in a bit. Too bad, he's a dear lil toad. Moi cows is loverly milkers ceptin lil Fruitcake a' course. They let down soomat lovely ceptin when they has grab bag, poor toads. Oi hates it when moi gals get grab bag. Roight nasty they gets an who can blame em? A case o grab bag would lower anyone oi recken, if they had a bag o course. Well enough o they natterin, oi has to see to moi liddle maids, they 's bellerin summat fierce. Loverly talkin at you. Boi now."
There you have it. Farmer Giles.

Mrs. Jackson

I have been reading "The Batchelor Brothers Bed and Breakfast" and the bit where he started piano lessons brought back in all it's misery my years with Mrs. Jackson.
I was eight years old and we had been given an old upright piano. It was full of moths so that when you made a loud noise beside it all the moths would fly out in a panic. This provided my sister and I with many happy hours. The moths were finally dealt with and it was on to culture. I was sent off to a house across the fields for my after school hour with Mrs. Jackson the piano teacher. She looked like Fran Drescher on a bad hair day if Franny was 50 pounds over her prime. She wore a long flowery dressing gown, always the same one and her house smelled of cabbage. She had a little rat dog called Peppy who got poisoned one day ( no surprise there) who added to the drama by biting anyone he met.
At first I went with my pal Nenagh but she bailed after a year and left me to it. Mrs. Jackson spared no punches. If your hands were not placed right you got a whack with a ruler. Then coins were put on the back of your hands. God help you if they fell off. You stood out side the room gazing at the kitchen where the cabbage smells came out in a yellow cloud and had to shout to Mrs. Jackson which note she was playing. She wanted us to have pefect pitch she said. I to this day don't know why. I was in terror all the time that rat dog Peppy might come out and savage my ankle socks.
Once a year we had a recital. My first year I played the Eaton Auditorium in a duet with Nenagh who froze when she saw the audience. It is hard to play a duet by yourself. The next year it was in a living room some where, where I decided to riff on my little piece of Chopin much to Mrs. Jackson's chagrin. I thought it was nice.
I plodded on in misery for a while longer when it occured to me that I really did not have to do this. I think it was the first time I had ever said no to my parents. The mothy piano vanished shortly after and my sister got a keyboard to learn on and a hunky young man who taught group lessons in the school across the road. Some people have all the luck.

Oh Woe is Me !

My computer has had a few bad days. I also have had a few bad days. Having a sick computer is sort of like having a sick baby. All they can do is cry or deliver rude pop ups and you don't know where they hurt because they can't tell you. I tried to explain to a very clever family member who worked hard to make the poor pc feel better again but no... PC Dr. had to be called and over his little expensive self came. There were several hours of ministering to the invalid then all seemed to be well... until...I tried to get to my blog two days later. Apparently I had no blog. A year's worth of anecdotes and stories up the spout! PC Dr. was called and gave over the phone a lot of rather contradictory information. The situation worsened as my favourites selection disappeared. Clever family member was called at an after work drinky get together and she too was at a loss. The horror! What was one to do? Thank goodness another clever family member hove into sight expecting his dinner and got instead moi in tears over the lost blog and making bashing gestures at the computer. Another computer was called into action and lo and behold there my blog was, only not on the cured one! More manouvering by clever family member and here I am telling you this tale of very minor woe. Tears were dried, a very nice dinner brought to the table and peace restored. I really need to get a grip on making mountains out of molehills or perhaps I am in need of a holiday in order to ponder my lack of perspective.

Signs [with apologies to you know who]

Aries:
I have an idea! Let me at it!.... Gone.
Taurus:
Oh I have an idea. Hmmmm...let me think about that for a bit. Hmmm....
Gemini:
I have an idea! I have an idea! Shut up will you I'm depressed. I have an idea! Shut up!
Cancer:
I have an idea. Let me fluff up those pillows before I leave. I do love a pretty home.
Leo:
I have an idea!!!!!! I have an idea !!!!!!! Me ! I have an idea! me!me!me!me!me........
Virgo:
I have an idea. Let me stay with this a while. Hmm....Let me sleep on it. Don't call me I'll call you.
Libra:
I have an idea. It seems a good idea. Maybe not. No, it is a good idea. Or is it?
Scorpio:
I have an idea. I'm not telling. I like the puzzled look on your face. Say what? Just a sec while I whip out my tail!
Sagittarius:
I have an idea. It's a great one. I'll get right on it. Whoops, I just walked into the wall!
Capricorn:
I have an idea. I am going to think it through. Thoroughly. And then I will do it all by myself so it will be perfect. Ehew!
Aquarius:
I have a brilliant idea! I have another brilliant idea! Wow I have a brilliant idea! Gosh what a fabulous idea!.....
Pices: I have an idea? I do? Really? Me? Are you sure about that?